Child sex abuse woman sheds 109kg to get life back after comfort eating
15 July, 2018
A CHILD sex abuse survivor who ballooned to 177kg after years of “self-destruction” and comfort eating has shed 109kg and turned her life around — becoming an author and motivational speaker.
Kelley Gunter, 53, was “raped and brutalised” from the age of eight to 14 but felt too scared and ashamed to ever tell anyone about it — burying her trauma until long after her attackers had died.
Kelley Gunter, 53, struggled to move without her joints and back hurting.
Kelley Gunter, 53, struggled to move without her joints and back hurting.Source:Caters News Agency
Trained clinical counsellor Kelley, who is 175cm, turned to sugary treats for comfort, piling on the kilos until by the age of 30 she weighed 177kg and was a UK size 36.
But a trip to the circus with her son Alec Gunter, now 23, in 2002 made Kelley realise she needed to change as she struggled to walk a few steps before getting sweaty and out of breath.
After gastric band surgery in August 2002 Kelley followed a strict low sugar, low carbohydrate and high protein diet — and by October 2003 the single mum had shed a whopping 109kg.
She’s now a healthy 68kg.
She’s now a healthy 68kg.Source:Caters News Agency
Despite eight more surgeries to remove excess skin and insert D-cup breast implants, Kelley realised she still hadn’t overcome her self-destructive tendencies — and being “pretty” wasn’t enough.
Kelley, who is now a svelte UK size 12 and 68kg, finally checked herself into a counselling centre in Arizona in 2016 and was able to start battling her childhood demons.
Now the abuse survivor is bravely sharing her story, releasing the book called You Have Such A Pretty Face to inspire other people grappling with body image issues and obesity.
Kelley Gunter was raped and brutalised from the age of eight to 14 but felt too scared and ashamed to ever tell anyone about it.
Kelley from Dayton, Ohio, US, said: “That trip to the circus with Alec was a real turning point for me.
“We were walking to our seats and every few steps we’d have to stop and rest because I was so sweaty and out of breath.
“Then he asked if he could go to the carnival and I had to say ‘no’ because I knew I wouldn’t be able to stand for that long without being in pain.
“Instead of being upset, Alec started explaining why we didn’t need to go to the carnival and I realised that my six-year-old was making excuses for me.
“I realised that my size was affecting him. I was so big I couldn’t do anything with him, I was missing out on my son growing up. I needed to get my life back — for me and for him.
“After my surgery I was told I had this window where my stomach would be so small but after that I’d be back to losing weight like a normal person so I needed to stick to a strict diet.”
“I never cheated once, I followed the diet to a tee. I was so determined. I was going to do everything possible to lose the weight.
“When I was big, people would always tell me, ‘Oh but you’ve got such a pretty face.’ They think it’s a compliment but it’s not — it’s basically them telling you that your body is a mess.
“I wanted to show them I was so much more than a pretty face.
“It took a few months but when I got to about 146kg I started doing water aerobics then I started swimming and when I got down to 108kg I could start doing all kinds of exercise. I did it all.
“But even after I had lost all the weight and had all my surgeries, I wasn’t really happy.
“Don’t get me wrong, I was happier and healthier. I could run around with my son and go out and do all the things I couldn’t do before.
“Our lives had changed dramatically and Alec finally had a mum who was active. We did everything because I was trying to make up for all the years we’d lost.
“But my happiness was a bit of a mask. I still had such low self-esteem and felt worthless.
The mum realised that while she had transformed her physical appearance, she still needed to cope with the trauma she had suffered as a child.
Opening up about being a victim of sexual abuse has helped Kelley feel like she is living as her “most genuine self” and she has regained the sense of self-worth that was stolen from her at age eight.
Kelley said: “I had lost weight but I hadn’t coped with anything from my past.
“I had been bullied, raped and brutalised by grown men when I was just a little girl. I had never told a soul about it, I buried all that trauma.
“There is so much shame around sexual abuse I never felt like I could tell anyone. Instead I kept it all inside.
“It made me terrified of ever being alone and if I came home to an empty house I would ask my friends to come in with me to make sure it was all safe. They just thought I was a chicken.”
“When I qualified as a therapist I remember thinking, ‘This is it, I’ve dealt with it on my own.’ But looking back, now I know I was using food as a comfort.
“And when the weight was gone, I was still so self-destructive. I opened a business in 2003 but instead of looking after it I spent all my time shopping and at casinos.
“I lost my business, my money, my home, my friends — everything.
“I checked myself into a centre for two weeks and all these repressed memories of the abuse started coming out.
“It was really hard. I was flooded with all these memories and emotions. There was a lot of stuff I would rather have never remembered.
“I just kept telling myself, ‘You’re still here, your heart is still beating, you’re alive, you’ve survived.’
“The monsters from your past thrive in the dark and you can only defeat them by bringing them out into the light. I wish I had done that 20 years ago.
“Now I finally feel like I am living as my most genuine self. I am never scared to share my truth, all my cards are on the table.
“Looking good isn’t enough. Pretty is a verb, it is in the things you do and the way you act. Being authentic and kind are the most beautiful things in the world.”
“For the first time ever my soul is free, all the demons are gone. That’s what inspired me to write my book and share my story.
“I want other people who have suffered trauma to know that joy is just on the other side of suffering.
“Don’t live in fear of never being enough like I did. You are never too old, too ugly, too fat or too broken to deserve happiness.
“By showing all my scars to the world, I hope that I can help people realise they can heal too.”
Keen baker Kelley maintains her weight by doing Zumba and sticking to a low-carbohydrate and high-protein diet five days a week but allows herself two days to indulge in sweet treats.
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