Navigating the community with aphantasia

Have you ever believed about how you think? Not what you think, but how you imagine? I often do, ever since realizing that I possess aphantasia. Having this condition ensures that I cannot produce any visible images in my own “mind’s eye.” When I close my eyes, I literally see nothing.

I first found a word because of this condition when browsing an article found in a newspaper: aphantasia. To be truthful, I thought every person was the same as me, since it is rare that people ask one another, “What goes on in the human brain when you imagine?”

It is not a usual conversation beginner, though it is one I think we should ask more often, since it helps us understand one another in a manner that is essential and necessary.

In my are a narrative consultant and international performance storyteller, I frequently have persons tell me that I create excellent images for them with my own words and that they can see the landscapes and characters that I conjure up during performances. Yet I see nothing.

The irony isn't shed on me, yet I “know” the story, the characters, and the landscapes intimately. I can describe them for you but carry out so without visualizing them. I want to explain.

A good taste of how it really is for me

Imagine appearing taken on a good walk blindfolded. Suppose someone is next for you, narrating what's around you. The body, legs, and hands can reach out and contact, and you will know when the path slopes down. You will come to feel the change from mud to gravel, and you will perception the difference in audio and pressure when you are near the cliff edge.

Imagine going on this walk every day for weeks, then think about an individual asking you to describe it to them. You will be able to achieve that without actually having experienced it; you will “find out it” in a different way.

That is clearly a little flavor of how it really is for me personally. I have a regular narration in my own head telling me instead of showing me things. I think this is as well connected into my inability to hear anything spoken when I need headspace to believe in words.

For instance, if I am “crafting” anything with my hands, I can listen to spoken terms on the radio. However, if I have to write articles or do anything regarding words, I can simply include music, no lyrics. There isn't plenty of space in my own head for just about any more words, because they are my main thinking tool and can't be interrupted.

As a performer of testimonies and former U.K. National Storytelling Laureate, I am often referred to as “lyrical” with a solid physicality. Both of these things are important if you ask me in helping me gain access to and remember the words I need.

I suspect that lacking the opportunity to “see” the story allows me to “inhabit it.” This signifies that instead of describing what I see, I become it.

I am not describing a man whom I can see, who's “large shouldered, slim hipped, dark haired, and whole lipped.” I am that person describing myself in that moment. I am not really describing the young girl with “dark curls tumbling over pale bright white shoulders.” I am that woman, describing myself from behind her eye, without essentially seeing her.

As I perform, my body “inhabits” those persons or descriptions, which results in my own “physicality.” I describe landscapes practically by “lassoing” them into shape with phrases, conjuring them up in this way rather than with imagery.

As I make an effort to describe this for you, my side lifts itself up in to the air before me as I suspect of a mountain array. I contain to trace the form of it with phrases or my hands so as to know it. But those words and motions create powerful photos for others.

This is further enhanced by how I need to use rhythm or rhyme, assonance or alliteration in my tellings, as they pad out and condition the images, providing them with a form that permits me to connect with them in an exceedingly tangible and visceral way.

Interestingly, when I am focusing on writing a book or performance piece, I often start by drawing images. I then add terms and descriptive language.

It is impossible for me to write directly onto a pc, or even into an exercise book, for this kind of work. I think simply because I cannot support the whole “pattern” of the part in my own head; I need to start to see the whole element out on a roll of paper. Only then can I start to build-up the sections. I need to see the “big photo” before me first.

Some research into aphantasia have recognized that aphantasics have solid abstract thinking skills. I know that is among my skills, and I think it really is related to the actual fact that I am not pinned down to a visible of how a very important factor should appearance or be. This signifies that it can be easier for me personally to hook up ideas that others may not be able to.

If you saw an idea for one of my displays, you would very much understand. It is normally a assortment of post-it notes, arrows, coloured lines, and images. Initially, they appear to be a whacky mind map, but to me, they make sense.