UAE fathers reveal why they took time off work after their babies were born: 'You learn a whole lot about yourself'

Earlier this week, it had been announced that, for the first time, fathers employed in the UAE’s private sector will be eligible for parental leave. Under this law, private companies should give both male and female personnel five days of paid parental leave, to be taken within six months of their child's birth.

This is a move that been praised by many because of its multiple long-term benefits. Here, three hands-on UAE dads, who took every time off work to provide for their newborns, share specifically why this is a step in the proper direction.

'I quit my job to be the principal caregiver'

When Usman Sajid’s wife Shaheena gave birth four years ago, her caesarean delivery made her recovery time longer and restricted her movement in the days that followed. That led Sajid to take what he felt was a required step - to quit his full-time job so that you can look after the infant.

“It wasn’t an instant decision,” says Sajid, who comes from Pakistan but was raised in the united kingdom. “In those days, I wasn’t really enjoying my job, and I knew my partner loved hers. I didn’t want her to leave and we were ready where it was financially feasible. THEREFORE I made a decision to bite the bullet … and it had been amazing.”

What followed were the hectic days new parents can relate with, filled up with sleepless nights, endless feeding and nappy changes. Since Shaheena needed additional bedrest, Sajid took on the principal caregiver role in the weeks that followed. His flexible schedule also allowed Shaheena to return to work full-time 90 days later, as Sajid stayed with their son.

“Musa would wake us up each morning - he was our noisy alarms,” he jokes. “After Shaheena would head to work. I’d give him his milk, change nappies, have playtime. Sometimes, if the cricket was on, we'd watch that together. Then there would be the afternoon nap, more diaper changes and feeds. So when Shaheena got home, there will be a baby handover of sorts.”

Sajid started out working as a freelance photographer, which gave him more overall flexibility along with his schedule. So, when the couple had their second baby, Mariam, now 16 months old, he again took on the role of primary caregiver. It had been in December 2019 that Sajid made a decision to go back to work full-time.

He says being at home in those initial years has paid in terms of bonding along with his children. “You merely need to be patient,” he says. “The same manner that it becomes first nature to a mother, it could eventually a father, too. And the bond you build together with your child is something no money can buy.”

That is why his advice to new dads is to “spend as enough time as possible" with their children. “You learn a whole lot from your own child - and you also you learn a whole lot about yourself.”

'Being an individual dad is a full-time job'

Ali Ramadan’s two daughters were born and raised in the UAE. Now aged 12 and 7, the Lebanese national remembers the chaos that followed in the days after their birth.

“When a child exists, the mother is in hospital. It's the dad’s job to soothe her, run around, file all of the necessary documents, look into any legalities, both national and international. I recall likely to the embassy numerous times to straighten out documentation.”

It isn’t just the immediate aftermath, though, when extra support could possibly be needed. In Ramadan’s case, his wife developed contamination after one of the births which meant more hospital visits. The father subsequently decided to take weeks off work after both his daughters were born.

“The hardest part, honestly, is welcoming a fresh baby into the home. It’s a huge change. I’m lucky that my company gave me five days off at that time and I took yet another 14,” says Ramadan.

It’s not a fairly easy job. At the end of your day, you should be patient and calm

Ramadan and his wife divorced in January 2017, making him the principal caretaker for his two daughters. Now a single dad, he reiterates the value of having extra time to spend along with his children.

“Being truly a single father is a full-time job. You must worry about everything - healthcare, education, lunchboxes, putting them to bed every evening, having emotional conversations. Girls usually have a tendency to share more with their mums and it's been harder to allow them to establish that trust and connection with me.”

Which explains why it’s a blessing that lots of companies are giving parents flexible hours or the opportunity to work from home this season. Ramadan adds that the brand new paternity leave is a bonus which allows for more bonding time.

“It’s not a fairly easy job. By the end of your day, you should be patient and calm. Since love to them helps it be all worthwhile.”